It's been a week since we lost our baby - Ryan Aziz.
Listening to song by Dewa "Hadapi Dengan Senyuman"
makes me cry and smile at the same time. The lyrics
are so meaningful and truthful. May Allah be merciful
and give us strength through this difficult time, insyaAllah.
Artist: DEWA
Song: HADAPI DENGAN SENYUMAN
Album: LASKAR CINTA (2004)
Source: lyricsandsongs
Hadapi dengan senyuman
Semua yang terjadi
Biar terjadi….
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua... kan baik baik saja
Bila ketetapan tuhan
Sudah ditetapkan
Tetaplah sudah….
Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah
Reff
Relakanlah saja ini
Bahwa semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
Friday, 1 February 2008
Burial
We woke up early this morning. B went to pick up Ryan Aziz and the placenta at the hospital and ensure all the documentation needed to bring him home for burial is settled. I couldn't accompany B as my feet are swollen up. Standing and walking around the hospital with my "elephant feet" don't seems fair,B told me. So, I waited patiently for their arrival and recite my zikir and doa. Mean while, my youngest sister prepared some dishes in the kitchen for our guests.
After a while, I called and asked B whether everything was ok. B said everything went well though he needed to wait a little longer for a nurse to release Ryan. I asked B, where did they put Ryan? B slowly told me, in a tupperware. My heart just crushed when I heard that and couldn't possibly utter another question. So the only thing that I could said to B was drive safely.
Shortly after B arrived home, ustaz and his family turned up. They help us to "mandikan, kafankan and sembahyangkan" our little Ryan Aziz. B and I are forever grateful for their help and kindness. When we were about to go to the Haycombe Cemetery, ustaz's wife told me that we have a beautiful boy. I just smiled because I know Ryan had both of our great features..perasankan.
Waiting at the cemetery were our two close friends. They couldn't join the "solat jenazah" so we told them to wait for us at the cemetery instead. While B drove our car, I "kendong" my baby on my right hand and I could just feel his tiny weight. My sister was holding a jug of floral water. While we waited outside, B showed the documentation to Tracy (a Christian priestess) as she needed proof that Ryan and the documentation came together.
Tracy escorted us, to the Muslim graveyard. Ustaz "kepal2kan" tanah, helped by B and our two friends. This was done to help "mengiringkan" our Ryan to faced kiblat in his "liang lahad." Ustaz told my husband to buried our own son as he said it'll be more afdal. B, did as told and little by little our Ryan covered by soil. It's hard for me to watch my own son being buried but it was harder for B because he's burying our son. Anyway, what needs to be done need to be settled. We finished off by reciting doas and showering our son grave with floral water.
Ryan Aziz..Mummy and Daddy love you so much. May we meet again in Jannah.
Al-fatihah.
After a while, I called and asked B whether everything was ok. B said everything went well though he needed to wait a little longer for a nurse to release Ryan. I asked B, where did they put Ryan? B slowly told me, in a tupperware. My heart just crushed when I heard that and couldn't possibly utter another question. So the only thing that I could said to B was drive safely.
Shortly after B arrived home, ustaz and his family turned up. They help us to "mandikan, kafankan and sembahyangkan" our little Ryan Aziz. B and I are forever grateful for their help and kindness. When we were about to go to the Haycombe Cemetery, ustaz's wife told me that we have a beautiful boy. I just smiled because I know Ryan had both of our great features..perasankan.
Waiting at the cemetery were our two close friends. They couldn't join the "solat jenazah" so we told them to wait for us at the cemetery instead. While B drove our car, I "kendong" my baby on my right hand and I could just feel his tiny weight. My sister was holding a jug of floral water. While we waited outside, B showed the documentation to Tracy (a Christian priestess) as she needed proof that Ryan and the documentation came together.
Tracy escorted us, to the Muslim graveyard. Ustaz "kepal2kan" tanah, helped by B and our two friends. This was done to help "mengiringkan" our Ryan to faced kiblat in his "liang lahad." Ustaz told my husband to buried our own son as he said it'll be more afdal. B, did as told and little by little our Ryan covered by soil. It's hard for me to watch my own son being buried but it was harder for B because he's burying our son. Anyway, what needs to be done need to be settled. We finished off by reciting doas and showering our son grave with floral water.
Ryan Aziz..Mummy and Daddy love you so much. May we meet again in Jannah.
Al-fatihah.
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